Bitter Sweet
by Kakuzu-sama
Summary: My trilogy of love, hurt and utter madness. First and second parts are told by Naraku, third by Sesshoumaru. It is set some ten years after the manga, without regards to the characters fates there. Yaoi, shonenai, rape, death fic, dark fic
1. Bitter Sweet  Part 1

Bitter Sweet

Part 1

Have you ever known the beauty of another person's skin under your fingertips? The sensation of holding you loved one in your arms? I haven't. For me, that seems an unreachable thought. An illusion. Such pain… why does she have to get what I cannot? And why does what she get have to be what I want? Though I shouldn't, I hate her for it. She has to pay for my misery. Sounds petty, yes. But something has to be done. I am a man of action. I cannot sit in silence, watching, waiting for my deepest wish and darkest desire to come true. There are no genies or fairies to grant your wishes. If you truly want something, you have to make it come true yourself. Hence, this is what I must do. Besides, with her gone, I can, perhaps, slowly move in on my utmost desire. I do not know. But still, perhaps.  
I can imagine it, let my fingertips just touch it. Just barely, but still… what seemed like an illusion may come to life under my touch. No more playing around. The plan forms inside my head. Dark. Twisted. Indeed, but much to my liking. Pain. Misery. As it is supposed to be. I f I have had to feel it this long, why not someone else for at least a while? I have to be my own wishmaster. None who owns common sense would wait for fate in silent agony. What is the logic in waiting for things to happen while in pain, when you can make the pain go away by granting your own wishes? I can tell you, it's easy, really… there is none. The illusory belief in fate is based on the childishness of the mind.  
There is no such thing as luck; it's all a matter of fear. Fear and hope. Young, naive hope. Stand by the side and watch others make their moves, fear to make your own… while hoping that you imaginary luck is on your side. Coincidence is the fool's luck, the sweet, wish-granting fairy of the vagabond. The key to controlling your, so called, fate is getting on the field and start making moves. The right moves.

Rest uneasy, my beloved, for I am coming for you…


	2. Bitter Sweet  Part 2

Bitter Sweet

Part 2

I moved as if one with the shadows, silently, swiftly along the wall without making any sound. The dark stonewalls made my black hair and kimono disappear into the wall, leaving my pale face illuminated in the darkness. I sneaked around a corner into yet another long, empty hall. I had to be close now. Knowing that it could not be much further I felt my body tingle with sensations of triumph, of bliss. She had to die. There's just nothing more to it.  
I was so caught up in my own thoughts I barely noticed the weak light slowly moving toward me from around a corner. I was quick and soundless as I moved closer to the corner, pressing tight up against the wall as I watched the shadow on the wall growing, coming closer. For a second I closed my eyes, feeling my heart beat in my chest. As the kappa rounded the corner he was down on the ground in a matter of seconds, and before he had the chance to scream for his master I could feel his head crushed under the pressure of my foot. Though few deserve it, death often comes swiftly to those unsuspecting. The small body lay slumped on the ground, a pool of dark blood slowly growing around the cracked skull. Big, golden eyes staring lifeless into nothingness. A strange feeling rose inside of me. An odd satisfaction, awakened as I felt the life leave that sad little body. Touching my lips I felt a smile pass over them.  
As I had thought, there had not been much time before I reached the room within the depths of the castle, which from the very beginning had been my goal. The door was open already and, standing in the doorway, I could see a great bed, hear the calm, steady breaths of sleep rise from the bodies. Absolute darkness had settled over the room. Sweet scents of incense and wild flowers hung thick in the air inside of this little haven. Haven… perhaps… but soon turned into an altar of death. I want to see the blood spill.  
I snuck up to the head of the bed. She lay there in deep, innocent sleep, her eyes closed and her features calm. Her black hair was spread out around her head as she slept. I took a hold around her head, one hand covering her eyes, the other her mouth, and I snapped her neck. It was easy, really. Just one quick move, a sudden flutter of her eyelashes against the palm of my hand, and that was it. She was dead. As I let go of the body, her head didn't seem to want to stop rolling back and forth, but after a few seconds it settled, turned to the side with empty eyes staring at the man still sleeping beside her lifeless body. A twisted smile passed my lips as I looked at him, eyes closed in beautiful, innocent sleep. To sleep so calmly while your loved one lies dead beside you… it is beautiful.  
I moved around the bed in silence, not wanting him to wake up just yet. I watched his sleeping form – his body stretched out to its full length, pale, naked skin illuminate in the darkness. The moon on his forehead and stripes on his cheeks seeming almost black against his flawless complexion. He lay on his side, face turned at her, though in his naive slumber he had no idea… I stretched my hand out, touching his long, white hair, feeling its silky softness against my fingertips. Beautiful. I closed my eye, feeling a sweet, tingling sensation move up my spine. Determined to claim him as my own I turned him over on his back, waking him from his slumber.  
Screams. Shock. Fear. Pushing him down on the bed I forced my lips upon his in a deep kiss. Bodies fighting, one winning – dominating. You can never stop me! Tears licked from smooth cheeks. Yet another kiss, more gentle. He gives in, gives up. Skin to skin, bodies becoming one.

All before the dead eyes of his beloved.


	3. Bitter Sweet  Final

Bitter Sweet - Part 3

He lay in silent, oddly trusting sleep beside me, crimson eyes closed. How long had he kept me locked up in here? Days? …Weeks? It was hard to tell. It was all… such a blur. Her body had been taken away, tossed away like a child's discarded toy. The only comfort I found in the darkness was the thought that he had at least not… done anything to her in her eternal rest. He was only after me. But then, an unsettling thought rose within me. If it had not been for me, she would not have had to die. If… if she had not been with me he had not found any interest in her. No, that's not right. She wouldn't want me to take the blame for her death, when the murderer slept peacefully beside me. I can't blame myself. It's all… his fault.  
Yet, still he trusts enough in me to rest beside me, fully unafraid of me. I was capable of killing him, wasn't I? He had not taken to any means of tying me down, of neutralizing my demon powers. How could he be so trusting? Or, perhaps he knew? He knew of my fear, of the paralyzing fear that made it impossible for me to harm him. He had killed the woman I loved, yet still I could not bear to touch him. With his every move my heart almost stopped cold in my chest. I feared his awakening, knowing what it would bring. I was unable to stop him, even though I knew it was he who had destroyed everything. It was he who had smashed the perfect picture of my life. I had nothing left, yet I feared loosing. But loosing what? How can one loose when he has nothing left?  
Am I that much of a coward? Not even after this can I stop trembling in fear before him. I am powerful, with purer, stronger blood flowing through my veins, more powerful than he, at that. Was it as he had whispered? Had I… grown soft? Had my love for her caused my power to become useless, was that the reason to my fear? I closed my eyes. Rather with her in death… than with him in life. I truly have nothing to loose. He must… die.  
I made up my mind. He had to die. But I could not let him get away like that, dying peacefully in his sleep. His crime called for something… worse than that. I wanted to see his fear, savor his death as he had savored hers. He had brought so much destruction, so much despair in his lifetime, ruined so many lives… just as he had ruined mine. That had to be paid for, every life he had spilled, every fate destroyed, every family shattered… it had to be paid for with blood. With pain. With fear.  
I moved gently to wake him up, still unwilling to touch him, but as he simply continued to sleep I decided it was better to take advantage of the moment and take the top roll. I doubted that he would mind. As I got on top of him he woke up, at first he stared at me in surprise, but then he seemed to come around. I didn't say a word, still he understood. His eyes told everything. I had finally come to my senses, realized that this was how it was meant to be. For now, you can believe that. I caught some of the long, black locks, letting them slip from my fingers. Those crimson pits told me to stop playing around. He had no patience. His body was warm against my own, it was as if the flames of hell had licked his body, every single inch of pale, ivory skin. His body was begging for me, his wet, pink lips longing after kisses, his skin trembling for touches, his eyes asking me to…  
This was really what he wanted, wasn't it? His body cried for me, his eyes pushing me to go on, urging me to let go of my remaining fear, to touch him, kiss him, love him. I had to get a hold of myself in order to continue. It was still to soon to end this. Still, it was hard not to cry as I forced my self to kiss him. His arms were around my waist quickly, forcing me down upon him, his lips locked at mine. I had to get used to this before pushing it any further. His body still felt like a foreign object next to mine, something I had no desire in being near, yet I had little choice.  
It became altogether easier the longer we were at it, it was easier to touch him, to kiss him, because it was also easier to just close my eyes and pretend that it was anyone but him beneath me. Anyone but her. Imagining her as I lay in his arms was… impossible. I slowly moved my right hand 'til it lay over his heart, in his mad lust and demented desire he didn't notice until it was too late.  
"S-Sesshoumaru…"  
I could feel it under my touch, beating in my hand. What had seemed to be stone suddenly so fragile. His face turned pale and, to my delight, the fear rose in his eyes. Lips parted as if to speak, yet he said nothing. Was this not the very same fear he had imbued in me? The fear to even move as he looked upon me? Such a delight to see him like this, to see him as the helpless, fearful thing he had managed to turn me into. Its beat had quickened, the mere race of his heart seeming to hurt him. Pale lips turning purple, quivering on the edge of tears. It got harder for a second, could I kill something this helpless? But the, remembering the reasons my doubt disappeared. Still, I just lay there, feeling his heart race in my hand. It was beautiful to see him like this, the one that had once soared so high above everyone else, destroying lives for his own delight, torn from the sky and cast down on a bed in a darkened dungeon that would become his crypt.  
He was crying now, his eyes begging me to stop. He had gotten the point, playing wasn't fun when he didn't get to do it his way. No, he couldn't be spared. Too much had been destroyed, to many lives ended by his hands. I squeezed it a bit, just a gentle tightening of the grip for a second, but still enough to make him scream. He was at my mercy and we both knew that I had no intentions in letting him live. The tears rolled down his cheeks, in death he didn't seem so great, so untouchable, any longer. It was too painful for him, his eyes told me what he did not. He wanted me to end it. I stopped at the thought, had he truly suffered enough just yet? I knew the answer to be no, for all the pain and suffering he had brought, truly, the punishment should have no end in sight. But I couldn't lie there forever.  
I slowly sank one of my claws into his heart, hearing him scream in agony. Then I just… pulled back. I sat in silence beside him, watching how he gasped for air as his blood spilled over the white sheets, turning them dark crimson. He didn't move, if it was because of the pain, or because of the poison from my claws I do not know. It seemed he was fighting death, though he must already know that there was no use in it, and he suddenly arched his back, his body stiffening for a few seconds before everything became very still. He had lost the fight, lips still partly open in a silent cry of anguish. Crimson eyes staring into darkness. For some reason I couldn't help myself as I leant down over his dead body and placed a kiss upon his bloody lips, as if to mock him.

The final kiss was bitter sweet.


End file.
